(Fant)asia

fan⋅ta⋅sia:
1. a composition in fanciful or irregular form or style.
2. a potpourri of well-known airs arranged with interludes and florid embellishments.
3. something considered to be unreal, weird, exotic.

Some combination of numbers 1 and 3 pretty much describes the last 16 days I've spent in Asia and I'm going to try my best to explain why -- I wanted to write sooner to make sure I didn't leave out a single detail (this stuff is good), but this is the first time I've found an Internet cafe that doesn't look like it doubles as an opium den. And I'm currently in the middle of the Andaman Sea. Go figure.

Last I wrote, I was headed into the hills north of Chiang Mai, but I hadn't yet written about Japan so let me start there. I left San Francisco the 12th of November, and flew to Tokyo. By the time we got to our hotel, I hardly knew my name since I'd flown 11,000+ miles (collectively) in the past 60 hours. I did know, though, that I liked my surroundings -- everyone was smiling, and bowing, and then smiling and bowing again. We quickly dropped off our bags in our room and then walked around the Shibiya area of Tokyo. Of all the times I've traveled to foreign countries, I think this is when I experienced my first real taste of culture shock. I'd never been anywhere like Tokyo before, and I couldn't read a damn thing around me. It was great.

The next morning, I ran into someone from Google in the hotel gym. I did stay in the hotel recommended internally, but I still thought it was kind of random -- maybe because I haven't been to work in so long, or maybe because the same guy is usually sitting next to me every morning on the stationary bikes in the gym at work. So there I was, thousands of miles away from home, biking next to the same guy I always do. Talk about a small world.

After a quick Starbuck's breakfast (God bless America) that same morning, we boarded a train to Kamakura. I'd wanted to visit the Great Buddha since I was in kindergarten, when my parents came home from Japan with a great photo of my dad "holding" the Buddha in the palm of his hand. Hopefully the ones I took in the exact same pose will turn out ;o) The Buddha is incredibly impressive as are the temples in Kamakura. I really enjoyed it there -- everything was so clean and the people were equally as friendly as those we'd encountered in Tokyo. I also enjoyed all of the school children in Kamakura -- each one we passed would say "Hello! Good morning!," and then they'd giggle for speaking English. It was very sweet.

Saturday night we went to the Harajuku area for dinner and to look around, and then Sunday morning, we got up around 6.30AM to go to the Tsukiji Fish Market. I'd heard from some people at work that it was an experience, but I had no idea what I was in for. The Tsukiji Fish Market is the largest in the world, so it's no wonder that you can smell the fish even from the subway station. We walked up and down aisle after aisle of gigantic tunas and freshly caught things I'd never even heard of before. I kept thinking that there couldn't possibly be anything left in the ocean surrounding Japan because there are piles and piles of fish for as far as you can see. That morning, I ate sushi for breakfast at the fish market, and I had to stand in a long line to do it!

Sunday evening we flew from Tokyo to Bangkok and, when we arrived at the Narita airport, we found that our flight had been delayed 4 hours. Thank goodness for the Red Carpet Club! When we finally left Narita it was about 10PM, so we arrived in Bangkok early Monday morning. From the airport, we took a taxi to our hotel -- all taxis in Bangkok seem to be Toyota Corollas or something similar, so we had to take two cars between the four of us just to have enough room for our luggage (and we packed light)! Tim and I rode with a guy who was falling asleep at the wheel -- I thought I was going to die that morning on the Rama IV, but we kept him awake by talking about... American politics. Surprisingly, our driver was a big fan of McCain's.

My time in Bangkok all kind of blurs together, and not because I was indulging in what everyone says is such great nightlife (I think they're lying). Bangkok, to me, is so dirty and so crowded, and I feel like I spent all of my energy trying to get from point A to point B, safely, and with as much hand sanitizer as possible. During the two days before we left for Chiang Mai, we shopped for gems, we shopped for tailored suits, we shopped for whatever was being sold -- Bangkok is one big, dirty bazaar. We also rode around in tuk tuks, but after a couple of trips we were done with nasty fumes and risking our lives for 100 baht. There were things that I did enjoy about Bangkok... we had a nice dinner on Koh Sahn Road, where The Beach was filmed (I was pissed when I couldn't find Leo), we had foot massages, we went to the zoo, where I encountered my first Eastern-style toilet, and on the tail-end of our trip, we saw some fascinating sights in the city, but I'll talk more about those later to keep true to the chronology of this.

Tuesday evening started our 8-day guided tour -- the group with whom we traveled consisted of 15 people: a couple from LA, a couple from Denver, a mother and daughter from Wisco, a father and son from Australia, two brothers from Canada, another guy from Canada, and the four of us. We also had three guides: one main guide named Ken, and two other guides for the hill tribe trek section. Our first group activity was to get from Bangkok to Chiang Mai, aboard an overnight train. Ken kept saying that Thai trains are "just like your trains -- from 20 years ago," so I was a little skeptical, but they actually weren't too bad, as long as you ignore the speed at which they (don't) move, and the bathrooms. We arrived in Chiang Mai around 7AM and by the time we got to our hotel and dropped off our bags, we were ready for a massage! We found the nicest spa in town and, for $40 USD, I was massaged, bathed, and steamed for two full hours. I thought about round 2 at the end of it all, but we had temples to see, bazaars to shop, and chili peppers to eat.

The Night Bazaar in Chiang Mai is the mother of all bazaars (a Wal-Bazaar, if you will), so we went there the evening before heading out on our trek. After dark, a section of town is lined with stall after stall selling... wait for it... the same crap sold all over Bangkok. It is fun to walk up and down the streets, though, and take it all in. Some of the shop keepers (stall keepers?) drive a hard bargain, and they're all sure they've got whatever you like. I also love the universal use of the calculator to negotiate. There is no reasoning or making concessions, just a lot of number-punching. Luke tried to buy one street vendor's calculator when we were in Bangkok, and the street vendor's friend was ready to sell it to us.

Thursday morning we got up early to head for the hills -- north of Chiang Mai live a number of hill tribes, and we were going to visit and stay with two of the groups. Ken told us to pack a few shirts, some pants, some hiking shoes, a towel, and some soap, so we did. I also brought with me a sleep sheet and a shitload of anti-bacterial wipes. On the way out of town, each tourist "bus" (a pick-up truck with two benches along each side of the truck bed, covered by some type of canopy) must stop at the tourist police office and leave photocopies of every one's passports... I'm still not 100% sure of the reason why this is necessary, but when we were there, I felt like I was co-starring in a bad horror movie about some American backpackers that get butchered in the jungle or something. Luckily that didn't happen. Once we were done with the tourist office, we drove another 90 minutes up a steep and winding (sometimes dirt) road to begin our hike into the jungle.

The first day, we hiked about two hours to the Lisu people's village. The hike was very enjoyable although it was heinously humid and every bug this side of Burma sampled my sweet western blood. I did think it was cool that Nong, our main trekking guide, used a machete to clear a path for us to hike on -- he grew up in one of the hill tribes and was able to navigate the area with such ease, even when it looked like there hadn't been anyone back there for years. I didn't love it when he picked up dead birds to show us, though.

When we arrived in the Lisu village, we walked first to the house in which we would stay -- each person was given a pillow and a mat to sleep on, and a mosquito net to share with their neighbor. The toilet (yes, singular) was across from the room in which we slept, and the shower consisted of a big bucket of cold water with a hose attached to it. I didn't take advantage of the facilities, clearly. After we looked around our "camp" of sorts, Ken showed us around the rest of the village.

Chickens and children run wild around the Lisu village, and people with stained-black teeth smile at you as you walk by... they're very fond of chewing betelnuts, which cause black teeth and a mild buzz. From what I've seen, betelnuts can be more than mild -- when we went back to our house, an older woman came by with a bag full to share. She sat down on the ground in front of me and offered her stash. I think she'd already chomped on half of the betelnuts in the bag but I wasn't going to try even if they were fresh. She and I went back and forth for quite some time, and I tried saying "Bettlejuice" three times, but she wouldn't leave us alone. We finally recruited one of the Australian guys to eat one. Gross.

That evening, we made spring rolls for dinner, and ate by candlelight at a bamboo table. The food was actually very good, but I didn't eat any chicken mostly since I'd seen them running around earlier in the day and splashing in the water/mud puddles in the village. I know those aren't the chickens that were served to us, but I was just kind of disgusted with the whole idea of it. Haven't eaten any meat since ;o)

Friday morning, we got up early and ate breakfast, and headed out for what would be our longest day of hiking. The terrain through the hills is tough, and it was very humid again on Friday, but I really enjoyed seeing the backside of Thailand. We passed rice paddies, and little huts that looked to be forgotten until someone would peek out a window. About 90 minutes into our hike, we approached a stream of water that was maybe calf-deep... all I could think of was my mom saying, "Don't get in any fresh water -- you'll get dysentery." Obviously I had to walk through it, and wasn't pleased, but it felt pretty good since I was so warm. When everyone reached the other side of the river/creek, our tour guide told us that we'd have to cross one more river about a kilometer away. Shit. I couldn't believe my eyes when we walked up to the bank of the next river. It was flowing quickly, it was a long way across, and it looked to be about waste-deep. Lucky for me, I couldn't see what was swimming in the water -- if I had seen it, I'd probably still be standing on the other side. (More on this later.) So, with no other option, I put my first foot into the river, and was soon up to my waste in "dysentery." After a few minutes, I was on the other side, happy that we weren't going back the same way we came.

Later that day, after hiking roughly 4 hours, we arrived at a camp to eat lunch and board our next mode of transport -- ELEPHANTS! Kim and I shared a metal seat on the back of one, and for an hour, went up and down some of the steepest hills we'd encountered in the jungle. I was fascinated by how such enormous elephants could move with so much agility on extremely tiny trails. The ride was definitely one of the highlights of our tour, even though I got a huge bruise in the "tramp stamp" area of my back from bouncing around the metal seat.

After the elephant ride, we arrived in the Karen village, which is much larger than the Lisu tribe. 55 families live in the particular Karen village we visited, while about 55 people live in the Lisu village. The Karen village also has a boarding school for elementary-aged tribes children and, from what I've been told, it's much more "civilized" than some of the other tribes in Thailand. In the morning, we were able to visit the school and take pencils and gifts we had purchased for the children -- this was another highlight for me. We arrived in time to watch the students sing the national anthem on the front lawn, and then they were all served milk in their tin cups before heading to their classrooms. We passed out candy to the youngest kids (4-6 years old), and each bowed their heads to say "thank you."

We returned to our camp after visiting the school, and packed up our things for the last day of trekking. For the next three hours, we'd head down the same river we crossed the day before, but this time we'd do it on a bamboo raft tied together with palm leaves. Think Huck Finn/Tom Sawyer-style. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous but, at this point, I hadn't showered for three days (other than the anti-bacterial wipes I was constantly slathering all over my skin) and I was tired of sleeping on the ground, so I sucked it up and hopped on. About 2 minutes into our trip down the river, my guide pulled out a fishing rod he'd made of a tree branch and fishing line. Between paddling and splashing us, he was also fishing the waters -- he kept turning to me to say, "No fish, no lunch for you." Then he'd laugh hysterically and say, "Oh, my Buddha."

The river trip was actually fun, minus the near-capsizing of the rafts through the rapids and the snakes we sawing swimming across. Like I said before, I'd still be standing by the river had I known they were in the water! There was one snake in particular that had his head up out of the water as he crossed to the other side -- when "Oh, my Buddha" saw the snake, he started paddling faster and faster to try and catch it. I begged that he leave the snake in the water -- this was my first and only complaint to the guides the whole trip, so I felt like he owed it to me. We never caught up to the snake, but for the rest of the trip, the guide would tickle my leg when I wasn't looking, and I'd jump every time.

We arrived back in Chiang Mai around 5PM at which point I took one of the best showers of my life, even though it was in the Bates Motel. We sent all of our clothes to be washed, and then went out to eat along the river in Chiang Mai. Cheap red wine has never tasted so good. The next morning, we got up early to visit Doi Suthep, a temple on the hill in Chiang Mai. There is an incredible staircase that leads to the entrance -- Tim and Luke raced to the top of it, and everyone stopped to watch. We walked around the temple for quite some time, looking at all the various statues of Buddha -- while the temples are beautiful to me, I wish I knew a little more about the significance of the things within them. World Religions will have to be my next read.

Later that night, we boarded another night train back to Bangkok. I wasn't thrilled to be heading back but it did mean we were one step closer to being on a beach! We arrived in Bangkok early Sunday morning and, before anything, went in search of accommodations in the islands. Kim found a travel agent that we negotiated with for quite some time -- by the time we walked out of her office, she had charged each of our credit cards for a portion of our accommodation fees in Ko Phi Phi and sent us on our way with handwritten confirmation slips for airport and water transfers, and 4 nights in a hillside villa, supposedly with its own pool. I was happy I paid with American Express, because I was pretty sure we'd been scammed.

That afternoon, we visited the Grand Palace in Bangkok. Just recently, a Thai princess passed away so the Grand Palace was closed the first time we were there. When we arrived, the place was packed with Thai people paying homage to her and her life -- I've never seen lines like the ones winding around the palace that day, even at Disneyland. We then visited the Reclining Buddha at Wat Pho, which is one of the most impressive things I've seen. The Buddha is 46 meters long and 15 meters high, and it's covered in gold plating. Because of the way the temple is constructed, and the size of the Buddha, there isn't one point to view the entire statue but if you stand by his big mother-of-pearl feet, you can get a pretty good look at him.

What we did next I would usually be embarrassed to admit, but by this point in our trip we were so tired, and especially tired of Thai food, that we went... to the Hard Rock Cafe! The four of us were so excited to eat something other than noodles and chillies and whatever else we'd been eating -- it was great. After dinner we went to the Banyan Tree Hotel in Bangkok because they've got a great open-air rooftop bar, with views of the entire city. At night, and from that far up, it looks very pretty ;o)

In the morning we flew to Phuket, where we stayed one night before heading to Ko Phi Phi. Phuket is, to me, like Bangkok on a beach... lots of street vendors, lots of filth, lots of $2 massages. I did enjoy the beach in Phuket, and we had a great dinner on the water, but Thailand, at that point, seemed to be "same same" (Thai people use this phrase to explain everything).

When I woke up Tuesday morning, I was curious to see how (and if) the arrangements we made for the last bit of our trip would work out -- by noontime that day, so far was so good. A van picked us up at our hotel and drove us to the pier, where we boarded a ferry to Phi Phi. The water was choppy, and it poured rain for 30 minutes of the ride, but it was beautiful. Finally, paradise! Two hours later, the ferry stopped in the middle of the water, where we were met by another boat sent by our hotel. There, in the middle of the ocean, we passed our luggage onto a little speed boat and sat down for a quick ride -- since we arrived at low tide, we had to make one more transfer before we'd be ashore. From the speed boat, we got on a water tractor that drove us through knee deep water and then up onto the beach. The funny thing is, the whole transfer process was like clockwork.

What happened next is still unbelievable to me, so I've taken pictures as proof for myself. We checked into our "room" -- we are, in fact, staying in a villa on the hill of a private section of Phi Phi Don, and we do, in fact, have our own pool. Yes, our own pool. We also have a perfect view of the ocean and some surrounding islands, and we have drivers that will pick us up with their golf carts whenever we want to go somewhere (there aren't any true roads on this island, though, so it's just around the resort). Each night, we fill out a breakfast menu and place it in the coconut box outside our door, and in the morning, again like clockwork, we're served breakfast by the pool. It's incredible. Our travel agent in Bangkok really did us right.

Tuesday morning, Kim and Luke went to scuba dive so Tim and I went to the beach... I took the morning newspaper with me, and was a little concerned to read of the escalating political situation in Bangkok. In a nutshell, the People's Alliance for Democracy (PAD) wants the prime minister of Thailand to step down, but he refuses (summary article). As of yesterday, the Thai government has declared a state of emergency at the Suvarnabhumi and Don Mueang airports in Bangkok, and all air traffic to and from the city has been grounded. In a bit of a panic, we took a 30-minute water taxi ride to the main port in Ko Phi Phi yesterday since there are no international phones on our side of the island. From there, we were able to call United Airlines and re-route our flights to leave from Phuket, but we can't get out of Thailand before December 2. I don't know about my friends, but I'm pretty excited because that means I get 48 hours of birthday this year!

So, tomorrow we'll leave paradise as originally planned, and we'll head back to Phuket to stay for a few extra nights. I'd love to continue the plush, poolside villa lifestyle, but if I stay here any longer, I may never leave. And not for reasons I can control!

This trip has been eye-opening for so many reasons -- from the cleanliness of Tokyo, to the poverty and filth in Thailand, to the splendor of the islands in the south, to the political situation, and on, and on, and on... even though I'm in a little bit of a sticky situation at present, I wouldn't take this trip back for anything. This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for the most basic of things, like clean toilets and showers, my job and education, and my dear family and friends.

Most likely, I won't be able to post again until I get back to the US, but I'll update as I can. And I'll post all of my photos when I get home... you've got to see some of the things I did. Until then, wish me luck in (Fant)asia!